To my son.......

Today, you become 14 years old.  How did that happen?  Wasn’t it just yesterday that I found out I was having you?  Wasn’t it just yesterday that you were born?  You coming to my life has been such a challenge and such a blessing.  Your existence has helped me find out who I am and taught me that unconditional love does truly exist.

                

Your journey has been a bumpy one, not just for us but you as well.  So many things that have been a part of your life that are not your doing and others that were you doing.  I hope that you look back at these moments and learn something from them.  I’m a firm believer that even though life can be terrible sometimes, how you react to those times is what shows the world what kind of person you are and whether or not you learned from those experiences.  I hope that one of the things I have taught you is that you cannot control the actions of others, just your reactions.  You have been privy to many things in life that are not fair, yet, I hope you allow those events to make you a stronger person who has learned that love is so much better to live than hate. 

                

When I found out before you were born that I wasn’t able to have children, I was devastated.  Then God decided that it was finally time for me to be a mom and he gave me you.  What a gift it is to be your mom.  Don’t get me wrong, there are days that I want to pull my hair out and question if I’m the right one for the job.  Then I see you smile, hear you belly laugh and hear you tell me you love me and well, those thoughts disappear. 

                

My commitment to you is that I will tirelessly continue to work towards helping you be the best you can be.  Despite the challenges you face daily, I still believe that you have something wonderful to give to the world.  I hope that I can help you determine what that is and help you achieve it.  You are an intelligent and loving young man who really can give so much to all of us.  I hope that you find what that gift is and use it to the best of your ability.

               

  Always remember, I love you with all that I am.  You may not agree with all that I have to say or all that I do when it comes to you.  Please remember that I make those decisions out of love and out of what we think is best for you.  You are blessed to have a bonus dad who loves you like his own and together we do what we can to help you be the best you can be.  Always remember, never forget, our love for you is real and we are your biggest cheerleaders who will push you, love you and teach you.

                

Happy birthday to you my nugget.  You are the best thing that has ever happened to me…….thank you for bringing joy, patience and love into my life. 

Always,

Your mom

Timing in life........

When one suffers heartbreak, it takes over your whole being.  Oh sure, you try to put on a happy face and maybe most times you are successful at being “happy”.  Yet deep down inside of you, there is this dull ache that just doesn’t seem to go away.  You may even be able to forget about it for a bit then something happens that forces that ache to bubble up to the surface and take over your being again.  At one point or another we all have felt that, some more than others.  How you react to that ache when it shows its ugly head is what makes you the person that you are.  One thing that has gotten me through my latest episode of heartbreak is remembering that I cannot control what others do, only how I react to what they do.  Unfortunately, ice cream and junk food have been my “friends” during this phase so back to it and gaining control of the food that I nourish myself with – that’s a topic for another day.

I’m a true believer that timing in life…..as I have spent some time reflecting on past decisions and happenings in my life recently, now that there is some distance from those “lessons”, I have come to realize that things happened a certain way because that’s the way they needed to happen to protect me and even at times others around me, from too many dull aches bubbling up to the surface.  It truly is amazing how an email or words spoken to you can truly change your perspective, your outlook on life. 

Some say that we go through the hard times to insure or help us appreciate the good times as they come.  Maybe that is true.  I know it works for me in most cases.  When you are going through those difficult seasons of life, those life lesson seasons, it can be a struggle to remember what is good in your life.  Many people focus on the bad times and difficult people instead of what’s good and encouraging in their lives.  I’m guilty of that and maybe some of you are too.  I do believe that God gets us through hours of sorrow and hours of joy.  Those hours of joy that we experience are gifts from him and we should cherish them and hold on to them during those times that are not so joyful in our lives. 

Miracles can happen.  I know because I’m in the midst of experiencing one right now.  Miracles happen to all of us every day.  They aren’t all talking burning bushes or changing water to wine miracles.  They can be something as normal as making it to your destination in one piece (for those that drive in the Chicagoland area – that is a miracle!) or having the ability to sustain a human being long enough to reach teenager-hood (yes, I’ve done that too – that is a miracle!).  Everyday large and small miracles happen in our lives.  I’m blessed right now to be experiencing a BIG one that I hope to be able to share with the world someday.  Hold on to those miracles – reference them, ponder upon them because they are gifts to us to help us through the tough times

Thanks for stopping by and listening to me carry on.  I hope you stop by again on my front porch of the web…….